Language 101

Many of you have asked about Levi’s language skills – and more specifically, how we communicate. His first language is Amharic. When we brought him home to live with us, he could understand much of it and speak a small amount. I immediately wished I had focused more on the words, and less on the cute instructor, in the "Beginning Amharic" class I took the previous year. The few phrases I did know really helped - but I wish I was more proficient.

Months ago I was told that kids already matched to Canadian families were being slowly introduced to some English. I soon discovered there was no truth to this. In effect, we were starting from scratch – but that did not seem to matter to the boys. It was nothing short of magical to watch Luke and Levi play and sort things out together. They did not allow such things as “words” to get in the way of their communication. They made it look easy. It was more about body language, intonation, facial expressions and touch. Slowly, I was allowed to join in.

From the beginning Levi mimicked everything we said – especially whatever came out of his big brother’s mouth. Good words. Bad words. Every word. Kids are like sponges and this two year old was no different. Although his English language skills are still somewhat limited, he understands virtually everything we say.

Here are some words he regularly uses (in context)…..please, thank you, mine, no, yes, mom, Luke, shoes, teeth, head, nose, eyes, ears, mouth, toes, hi, bye, hot, balloon, up, down, spider, help, turn, hug, car, bun, good night, ice cream, bless you, mine, ball, pool, yogurt, tubby, ok, again, look.

Sometimes I feel like a language teacher in classroom 178 at the Hilton. We often have mini lessons where Luke works on his French and Levi, his English. Luke still mixes up Spanish with French (too much Dora and Diego, I think) and Levi speaks with a cute little Amharic accent. Progress is being made though, so that is good.

Some research I have read indicates that children adopted internationally to Canadian families before the age three will develop their new language with little, if any, difficulty. In many ways, this is great news, as Levi’s babble will soon all be comprehendible. But……at what cost? Amharic will soon be a distant memory for him. I can’t help but feel I am robbing him of yet another important part of his culture and history.

Adoption is never a win-win. There is always a “loss” for someone, sometime, somewhere. That is just the reality – the reality you accept before you enter this process. You have to believe that what you are doing is still the right thing. And I do.